Villains Together
by DatTarkatan
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if Polka Dot Man and The Condiment King joined forces and developed feeling for each other. Probably not but now you can read what happens. Rated M for some bad language and a yaoi scene
1. They meet

Chapter 1.

DatTarkatan Says: {I do ont own any of the characters or locations in this story. They are all owned by DC Universe, Warner brothers, and anyone else that owns them that I don't know about.}

It was sunday, what a black day. More specifically it was Sunday February 12th. The day right before valentines day. This means Calender was getting ready for his annual Valetines day massacre but that's not important right now. Right now Gotham City was dealing with anaphylactic shock. This was of course the cause of The Condiment King's latest scheme, create a new condiment that of course causes anaphylactic shock.

If you are unaware of who The condiment king is he is a professional criminal that lives in Gotham City. His crimes usually involve condiments (actually they always involve condiments). He wears a blue skin tight suit, and wears his underwear on the outside( Seriously, this guys wears his tightie whities ouside his suit). Plus he has a hat that reasemembles a pickle, and some white boots. His costume isn't important right because he is going to start wearing orange for a while.

Obviously, Batman was able to subdue to The Condiment King (I mean come on this guy's gimmick is condiments of course batman is going to subdue him. Actually it was more of an ass kicking. You should of been there, it was hilarious) After the fight (Well after the ass-kicking) Condiment King was immediately shipped to Arkham Island to be reformed at Arkham Asylum.

It wasn't much of a hassle to get him there Batman was so strong he put the Condiment King in a coma for three days. He woke up in the infarmary and the first thing he saw was a guy in a white jumpsuit with Polka-Dots on it. This guy was known as Polka-Dot Man, he was of course another professional criminal. His gimmick was Polka-Dots (Duh!), and he was able to rip the polka-dots off his suit. This cause the polka-dots to change size and do a certain attack. Depending on the color of the polka-dot is selected, decides the attack(Red dots shoot fire, blue dots cause floods, etc.).

"Where am I!? Who are you!?" shouted Condiment King in a sorta frightened tone.

"I am Polka-Dot Man and you are in the Arkham Asylum Infarmary but, don't worry we won't be here for long." said Polka-Dot Man evily.

{Will the two awful villains form a strong alliance or will Batman kick both their asses, find out in the next chapters hopefully coming soon}


	2. The Plan

DatTarkatan Says: {I do ont own any of the characters or locations in this story. They are all owned by DC Universe, Warner brothers, and anyone else that owns them that I don't know about. Please reveiw and favorite me as an author if you like this so far. This will probably be the only gay love story I write so don't expect a lot more of this. }

Chapter 2.

In the infarmary Polka-Dot Man told Condiment King all about his master plan, it was quite simple. Steal back their costumes and get the hell out of Arkham Asylum. It was now valentine's day and it was time to put the plan in action.

"Time is 1:06 A.M. Do you have visual on the suits." Condiment King said to a walkie talkie he "borrowed" from a police officer. He did some tinkering with it and made it so it was on a 2-way network so the guards couldn't hear what they were doing. On the other end was Polka-Dot man (Duh).

"Yes. No. Uhhhh, its complicated" Polka-Dot Man told Condiment King.

"What do you mean its complicated. Its a freaking yes or no question"

"Well you see they hide the suits underneath the Botanical Gardens so..."

"WHAT!? How the fuck do you expect us to get underneath the damn Botanical Gardens" Condiment King interupted. He started thrashing about in anger. He wasn't told that they would have to find a way underneath a giant building, so who could blame him for being pissed.

"Look we got 24 minutes left before the guards show up. That gives us more than enough time to find the secret passage to get our costumes back" Polka-Dot Man told his partner. He didn't get a response which was strange. "Hello, are you there?"

"Yeah I'm here." King told Polka-Dot Man "But how do you know there is a secret passage"

"Do you really think they get a shovel and bury the suits them selves" Polka-Dot Man stated in a moody tone "Now lets go."

They both quietly crept twoard the Botanical Gardens. King searched the East side and Polka-Dot Man searched the West. They weren't searching fast enough, the time was now 1:23 A.M. In less than 7 minutes guards will show up to the Botanical Gardens and when they see the two criminals creeping around in there. Condiment King and Polka-Dot Man are going to get the living shit beat out of them(and probably say mean things about them behind their back)

Soon they made it to the middle and saw the only plant they haven't checked to see if it was hiding a secret passage...a poison oak shrub.

"I'm not touching that" Condiment King said as soon as he saw it.

"Come on you are a professional criminal and you are scared to touch a little bit of poison oak" Polka-Dot man told him.

"You're a professional criminal too. Why don't you touch it?"

"Have you lost your mind! Do you know how itchy that crap will make me."

"Man, why the hell do they even have a poison oak shrub"

"To protect the secret passage. Now go get our costumes" Polka-Dot Man said as he shoved Condiment King into the shrub.

Suprisingly Condiment King really fell through a hidden hole into a small room. The room was full of a bunch of famous and not-so famous villain's costumes. The room had a depth of about six and a half feet so it kinda hurt Condiment King.

Right in front of where Condiment King landed his suit was on a headless manaquin. Next to his costume was Polka-Dot Man's, The Riddler's, Deadshot's and The Penguin's.

"Where the hell is my helemet" asked Condiment King.

"Just forget it we don't have much time left." said Polka-Dot man taking off his prison uniform until he was butt naked.

Condiment King was going to say something else but, one look at Polka-Dot Man's bare body stopped him. He had rock hard abs, buff thighs, and huge cock. King wanted to keep checking him out but he had to hurry up and change before the guards showed up.

With both of them now in full costume it was time to act. Polka-Dot man ripped off one of the black dots and threw it on the ground.

"What is that" The Condiment King asked.

"Our ticket out of here" Polka-Dot Man answered as the black dot started hovering. It then grew in size, big enough to fit two people.

Polka-Dot jumped on the dot first. Condiment King was a little hesitant but he eventually got on. The time was now 1:59 and the guards started to show up. The polka-dot flew out of the underground room. It flew right threw the roof of the room, leaving a big hole in the gorund of the Botantical Gardens. Then it flew right through the roof of the Botantical Gardens, now there was a giant hole in the cealing too.

{Where will they go? What will they do? Why didn't they try to be sneaky? Where were the guards? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lolipop? Find out the answers to all of theese questions, well ummm most of theese, okay a few of theese questions, in the next chapter.} 


End file.
